Why People Talk Bad About You, Haters!!!!!! - By K Jinadu

Have you wondered why people talk bad about you without deliberately offending them, or you find that some people wants to make a mountain out of nothing, out of a deed that might be a mistake, out of a slight misunderstanding, and out of an innocent act; most times is intimidation.

Note, though nobody could claim to be saint but this article is not referring to those who goes about committing all manner of offences then plays the victim, and later complain of being talked badly about. NO!

Have you innocently walked into a room or hall filled with people and one's supposed friends, family, colleagues began to act frivolously, they roll their eyes, give one dirty looks?

Did you buy a car? A house?, or have just being promoted at work, at your place of worship, just got that fancy dream job many would die for and that friend, that family member, that colleague one expected to rejoice and show support acted like he/she did not notice?

Is someone always trying to get one into trouble for something you didn't do or say and you wonder why?

Note, in reality haters are everywhere, one finds them amongst friends, family and colleagues.

Have you ever notice any time one seems to achieve and acquire that friend, that family member and that colleague refuse to acknowledge?

Do one need to show support and recognise others achievements and success? 
Yes if you are a TRUE friend and family member.  
Some people cannot even pretend not that is good to be fictitious but it shows the situation has gone down to an abysmal level when one holds back.

These people one unintentionally intimidate have an image to maintain, a point to prove when they go about tarnishing and damaging ones reputation.

Feeling Intimidated breathes jealousy, unnecessary-unhealthy competition and envy; these negative feelings can be controlled before it gets out of hand.

The question would be why are you holding back? What do you think acknowledging and showing support towards a friend, family member, or colleague’s achievement would do to your person?  Why are other people’s achievements intimidating one?

The answer, recognising others success in their WORLD takes away, reduce them, makes them less important; elevate the achiever. 
The act which has degenerated into jealousy and insecurity would resulted in slander, defamation of character, making one less appealing to others, to those that appreciates the good qualities he/she possess.

In reality, TRULY recognising and supporting the achievement of others shows, confidence, shows maturity, shows civilisation shows potential to also acquire. 
One can only acquire what one likes and appreciate not destroy and slander.

Some would go as far as making up and creating false unpleasant stories, so think twice, be wary when one fills you in with what one might consider a juicy gossip, there might be a motive. 
A motive to destroy an innocent image, a motive to gang up, a motive to be in solidarity with the wrong, but once one joined this  belligerence group it's inevitable not to become a victim thereafter, the game would turn on one. 

Consistent negative behaviour to the innocent intimidator would be a RED ALERT; he/she would become aware thereby enmity would gradually set in.

Are you intimidating anyone?

Sometimes one goes about life, striving and working hard without knowing some people are intimidated by the action, sometimes it might just be one's appearance, the way one combine the shoe, the outfit, the bag sounds trivial but certainly another crucial point.

It might be one's natural  look, the look one inherited, the look one did not create, the look one had no control over than only to maintain could be causing intimidation.

Why do one intimidate? Why are they hating and talking bad about you?

The hater wanted to be like you which is not bad; the right attitude would be to emulate what that person one felt intimidated by exhibited; but express with your own unique personalities which would produce a better different person. 

The wrong demeanour would be to start slandering and destroying the person so he/she becomes less appealing to others.

Another reason why one intimidates some people, one’s seen as a threat; it could be at your place of work-because you re more qualified and you know the work better than a colleague or the manager has a soft spot for one; It also happens even at your place of worship.

Among friends and family, you might just be the most successful, the most approachable, most beautiful, or the person that possesses the aura of attraction and likeness people just wanted to be around.

One might possess a good sense of judgement, patience, might have seek, find and acquired  WISDOM; thereby it triggered a leadership quality where ones decision and opinion was seek first before anybody else, even though one might be the youngest in the clique, in the family, at work.  (Wisdom does not always come with age, also hating has no age restriction)

Sometimes these are signs to evaluate and assess one-self to figure out what we are doing wrong instead of feeling intimidated and hating on the person doing well.

The hating and blasphemy would be temporary because light overcomes darkness, wherever one pushes such person, he/she carries and switches on the shining light of brilliance because it's natural, inbuilt, a part of that person.

We cannot all possess these qualities NATURALLY though for some it's an innate gift, but it can be acquired through, first sincere self-evaluation, admitting doing wrong and making a decision to change and learn.

One need to find their individual strength and maximise it to its fullest; the good news-everybody was naturally created and born with a gift and purpose, find it! Stop vilification, stop hating!

A number of people naturally possess some outstanding qualities while some acquired them by developing themselves but whichever way it intimidates the weak, the low self-esteem, no future, no ambition, and negative, small-minded, stagnant and immoral people.

A person who constantly, feels intimidated by the success and beauty of others cannot be helped by anyone but themselves they always find fault in others.

A choice had to be made to stop this feeling of self-destruction he/she have to change their senses of reasoning.

Here is the frustrating effect for haters, sorry I cannot think of a better name to call them, a confident person whose unintentionally intimidating people without knowing while been successful, striving, developing oneself or just being themselves would not dim his/her glow so the hater can shine, NEVER! The act of radiance would increase.

Whoever are unintentionally intimidating one which resulted in insecurity, hatred, malicious and defamation of character towards him/her will not lower their standard, not advisable to do so; so one should work, and guard their thought. 

Vicious thoughts, negative and evil talk towards one another can be changed especially among WOMEN! Men most times have each other’s back but not always though. 

Solution

Is first, love yourself

If there is any area in one's life that makes one feel insecure, work on it

Acquire more knowledge, improve yourself, and keep learning these helps build self-confidence. It adds to self-value, one feels beautiful from inside.

Good self-confidence eliminates envy, jealousy and intimidation when around successful, intelligent and beautiful people it instead motivates one to aspire.

The feeling is not just physical contentment but one gain an inner satisfaction.

Also be willing to work for most if not everything; the one whose unintentionally intimidating one most times worked for it no free handout.

By K Jinadu

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