Yet in 1971, the Chicago TV and radio legend survived that harrowing ordeal which changed her life and made the married mother of one live with purpose. After recovering, she helped establish the nation's first Victim's Rights Bill.
Also a
survivor of childhood and domestic violence, she works to raise awareness about
both. Dee, 76, chronicles her journey in her upcoming memoir, Life Lessons On
Faith, Forgiveness & Grace, to be released June 5. Renowned song
stylist Nancy Wilson, Dee’s longtime friend, provided the foreword. The
award-winning broadcaster talked to EBONY about surviving gun violence and
overcoming life’s adversities.
EBONY: How do you keep it all together and remain so poised and polished after all you’ve been through?
Merri Dee: I have learned through the hard knocks that I have been
given many gifts. Being able to be calm in a storm and poised when under fire
are examples of those gifts. I tell other women who have been victimized that
you have the power to overcome anything; just put your mind and heart to it and
regain your control.
EBONY: What was the most difficult part about writing this
book?
Merri Dee: Having to remember the childhood that I lost. I was
shocked to recall that I never had the opportunity or privilege to just be a
kid.
EBONY: How did you learn to forgive your stepmother who abused
you, your ex-beau who abused you and your attacker?
Merri Dee: My dad once said, “Don't go to bed angry with anyone.
Forgive before you go to sleep or they sleep with you.” They invade your
private moments.
EBONY: How long did you stay in the abusive relationship? What
moment made you leave?
Merri Dee: He became abusive probably less than a year into our
relationship. It was sometime later when he used his celebrity to impress the
authorities and blamed me for the dissent between us. Then I knew I was not
with someone who would look out for me. I felt that I deserved better.
EBONY: What advice would you give to other women who are being
abused?
Merri Dee: Plan your work and work your plan. You were given the
gift of life and no one has the right to try and take that life from you. The
Lord giveth and HE taketh away. That is HIS privilege
EBONY: Your stepmother changed your name so family couldn’t
find you. Did that encourage you to fight for child rights?
Merri Dee: Yes, my childhood led me to fight for the rights of
children. Having my name changed was one of the most hurtful things that
happened to me. Having family offers a sense of belonging, a sense of
protection and a sense of self. I wanted children to have what I didn't have.
EBONY: What steps would you offer about healing and
forgiveness?
Merri Dee: Be the leader in forgiving. Let go and let God.
EBONY: Crime in Chicago has reached a national high. Does it
frighten you?
Merri Dee: I am not frightened. I am concerned that we as adults
may have a tendency to proclaim that it is someone else's responsibility. Our
youth are all of our responsibility. It is imperative that we as adults show
the best of us at all times.
EBONY: What advice would you give about being more aware of
one’s surroundings?
Merri Dee: I don't like being referred to as a victim. Being aware
is optimal, but being afraid only invites fear. Always make plans where you
intend to go, be mindful of your surroundings and think through how you might
act in an encounter.
EBONY: Did you know your attacker?
Merri Dee: No, I did not know him.
EBONY: What happened to him?
Merri Dee: He was caught in my automobile up in Michigan with my
purse on the seat. He was given a 120-year sentence. He served 12 years, was
released on good conduct, stole an automobile, arrested again (fifth time)
served time, came out and eventually finally quieted down. I was informed that
he died in 2009.
EBONY: The TV talk show guest who was kidnapped with you did
not survive. Do you ever wonder why God spared you?
Merri Dee: There are two things I do not have any control over:
birth and death. We all have a time to enter and to leave this earth. It was
not my time to leave. I honor that every day. We all have a purpose in life. My
life was directed by this sense of "mission." I helped open doors for
women of color in broadcasting, raised millions of dollars for UNCF and placed
hundreds of children into loving homes.
EBONY: After the shooting, you were partially blind and
paralyzed. You were given the last rites twice. Yet a year later you returned
to work. How did you succeed against the odds?
Merri Dee: I was alive. I realized that it was a privilege I could
not ever take lightly. I planned my work and worked my plan.
EBONY: Did you ever have a moment when you thought you wouldn’t
make it?
Merri Dee: Yes, there were moments, but that is exactly what they
were: MOMENTS! Life is not guaranteed and as a result I do not allow myself the
privilege of having a pity party that lasts long.
Ebony: You became a victims’ rights advocate. Is it true that
because of your efforts those who’ve been attacked must be made aware when their
attacker is released from prison?
Merri Dee: Yes, my experience became fuel for the first Victim's
Bill of Rights in Illinois. The bill was soon replicated across the United
States. It added years to some crimes, access to data on releases and financial
assistance to victims.
EBONY: Healing and forgiveness are long journeys. Any thoughts
on helping others take it one day at a time?
Merri Dee: Prayer is very important. It also is so very important
to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Blaming someone else without looking
at the part you played will not allow healing. I say forgive; I don’t say
forget. Prayer will do that for you when you least expect it.
EBONY: What are the “Aha” moments that people will take away
from your book?
Merri Dee: You can have what is seen as a hard life, yet be gentle,
kind, loving, gift giving, caring, patient and tough when necessary.
EBONY: Any plans to turn your memoir into a Lifetime movie?
Merri Dee: I frequently hear from others how my life’s story is so
compelling. In that spirit, I would love for my memoir to become a film and
help others who are struggling to overcome challenges.
To order Merri Dee’s book or for more
information, visit merridee.com
She is a fighter.
ReplyDeleteA survival, inspiring.
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