Friday, 21 June 2013

Why I Never Married Again - Wife Of Late Benson Idahosa Reveals All

According to Vanguard, her Grace, Most Reverend Margaret Ekhoe Benson-Idahosa, JP, OON, is the Archbishop of the Church of God Mission International and Chancellor of the Benson Idahosa University.
She is the widow of the founding Archbishop of the church, the Most Rev. Benson A. Idahosa, who passed away on March 12, 1998. A trained educationist, she established the World of Faith Group of Schools, which presently has more than 110 schools –KG, primary and secondary- all over the country. Rev. Idahosa will clock 70 on July 29, 2013 and recently she spoke with journalists in Benin.

How has it been in the last 70 years?

I want people to celebrate with me for that which God has done in my life. I sit here or I stand here not by my power or by my might but by the power of the Almighty God. I owe it all to Him because if I remember some of those that we were born at the same time or the same year or the same area, some of them are no longer here. It’s not because I am too good or I am too holy or too righteous. But I think it is by the grace of God. For that, I say thanks be onto God.

Coming to what has been my experience since; I recognize that I am here for something. Let me start by saying that since I came to the position I am in, it is not that easy. But I have God on my side. And because I have God on My side and He has a wide shoulder for me to cry on, to lay on when I have any problem, He has always been there for me. By the grace of God, on July 29 I will be 70. I don’t feel the difference in the inside of me and outside and on the strength that God has given to me. It is a fact that I am not as strong as I used to be when I was 20 or 30, but I have this to say that I am still strong and I give all the glory to God.

I see some of my mates that have lost their husbands; they have become shadows of themselves. But I tell them that losing a husband or losing a wife is not the end of life. There is more to life than what you are experiencing in the inside. It depends on how you react to certain things that happen to you. But I have to say that since my husband left, it is a fact that there are some things I don’t feel like getting out of them because I miss him. But when I look at the work God has given onto us, I get up; I brace up myself and do what God has asked me to do.

To answer that question, it has been going on well by the grace of God. It is not a bed of roses, but majority of those things we do have been okay. God is not a respecter of persons. What God has done for one He can do for the other. What God has done for a man He can do for a woman as well. But the major thing in it is availability. So, I say to them make yourself available to what you are inclined to; that which you do well or that which is your strength. Avail yourself to it; invest into it and be focused. Don’t be intimidated because you are a woman because that was how I felt when the Archbishop left.

When I was put into this position, I have no one but God and I said onto God that ‘You know I live in a man’s world. And for a woman to become a bishop, I have never read it. How do You want me to function when You know I live in a man’s world’. For about two weeks, I didn’t hear anything from God and I kept on asking and crying, not knowing that God is not moved by tears or by need. God is moved by faith. The moment I said ‘God I realize that no need moves you; my heart is fixed on you. You put me into this position. Now I want you to let me know how I am going to function in a man’s world’. After few weeks, God spoke to me and said ‘Margret, if I make the appointment; I will release the ability to perform’. And I said ‘God, that’s good, that’s good. I like that and it’s good’.

Since then, He is been doing that. To finish answering that question, let them be focused, let them know that they are not the first to lose their husbands. We lost husbands yesterday; some are going today and some are still going tomorrow. But life goes on. So, be focused on your strength and do that which God has earmarked for you to do for yourself, the family and the community at large.

Taking it from that angle, let’s count our blessings one by one. What are the memorable ones since 70 years ago that you can remember and share with us?

There is so much. Number one, I am still alive. I am excited; I am elated; I give all the glory to God that I am still alive. I still have the breath of God in my nostrils. I still can wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom, take a shower or take a bath and come in, dress myself and go out about my daily job. So, I am grateful to God. Number two, the children that God has given me have been a blessing. They seek for my comfort. Every one of them has cut out a niche for his or herself in the ministry which is of great honour and pride to our God and this ministry. I have seen some pastors; they have come here to ask for prayers. Please pray for my son, pray for my daughter, pray for this, and pray for that.

But I want to thank God that God came to them or that they went to God by themselves. It is not because their father was a pastor or a bishop or now their mother. But they found God by themselves. They came to where there is God, and God spoke to them individually on what to do. For that, I am grateful to God. God is helping us in the family.

What are the challenges so far?

Challenges so far? I would say the challenge that I am facing is myself; it is myself. God speaks and I sit down to begin to ask questions, to challenge God to say, God, why should I do that? The challenge that I have is myself, how to obey God and how to do the things that God has asked me to do. But the people, once I said this is what God has said and I explain to them, they believe me. But the challenge is just me. God nobody has ever done that. Why are you telling me to do that? That is the challenge I have. I am still praying that God, when you speak, let me hear and do what you have said.

What is the highest point of your life, that particular thing you will never forget now that you are 70?

Now that I am 70, I will never, never forget the day my husband left. We went on crusade outside the country. Before we left, I said honey, I am not going to stay behind that I am coming home with you. We are going together and we are coming together. He said no problem, everything is fine. I said okay. By the time we finished, we had not seen the children since the beginning of the year and their fees and all that had not been paid. I said I want you to go and spend two or three days with them. Make sure their bills are settled. Then you can come. I said okay honey I had said that I wouldn’t stay behind that I would go with you. Because of the children, let me just wait. And two days after he left me, I was called that he’s gone. I will never, never forget that. It was like the top of my life, the roof over my head was taken away. So, that is very, very significant to me and I will never forget.

At 70, what is more to add or what is the next stage of the vision?

The next stage of the vision is that I am waiting on God. Whatever God tells me to do, I will do it. I know that God will not speak to me the things that I cannot do because he is God. He knows my ability; he knows my inability. He knows what I can do and what I cannot do. So, whenever he speaks, I am ready. I am prepared. I have told myself that I am available to God. Wherever he sends me, wherever he leads I will go. I am ready; I am strong and I am ready.

What have been the challenges of running the University apart from the ministry?

Running a university is not an easy thing. You know when my husband left, the university was not fully accredited by the federal government. We had to work on it, work on our programmes, work on the different things that NUC was asking us. We did all and in year 2002, it was approved by the federal government. It is not even easy for a state to run a university. But the foundation of our university is based on God. When God gives a vision, he makes the provision. And God has been helping us from one stage to the other since the beginning of the university.

What is your message of hope to Nigerians?

My message is hold on to God. Look up to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. That is my message. Insecurity is not only in Nigeria; it is everywhere. The only thing is that we have never experienced it in our lives, in the history of Nigeria. It’s new to us. That is why everybody is thinking about it. I will say that with God on our side and that with us as leaders of this country, instead of complaining, we should join our hands and begin to pray for Nigeria.

The general belief is that churches establish schools just to make money. How would you react to this?

Word of Faith Group of Schools is owned by us, yes. That is very true. It is a fact that the money is coming now. When we established it, we were putting money into it, money to build the school, money to equip the school, money to pay teachers, money to decorate the school. Maybe now money is coming from it but the initial reason or objective is not to make money. The initial reason of opening the school is to train children right from the cradle. May be the school is making money now, I don’t know. But whatever money that comes in is put back into the ministry.

How have you been able to cope as a pastor and at the same time perform your functions as a mother at home?

I am able to cope because I work with a team, a team of women and men that know the vision that God has given onto us. As you rightly said, we have churches, we have schools, we have a university, we have a bible school, we have hospitals and we have international leadership institute. Let me start with the churches. In the churches we have many bishops. I don’t have much to do than maybe once every two months or every three months, we all come together to rob minds on the strengths , weaknesses and how to improve and go to the next stage. I believe strongly in team work. Every team that we have, they have become team players. No one is paralyzing his or her side. I have an office here. When I am in town I come here and go home. When I am home, I am home.

What do you expect as a birthday gift?

What I want is to move the university from the temporary site to the permanent site. That is what I want.

What is the secret of your success?

The secret of my success is God, Holy Spirit. I rely on Him every day. The first thing I do in the morning is to sing some love songs to him. Not that I don’t have problems, but I don’t let the problems to have me. I dominate the problem. And with the Holy Spirit in me I am able to surmount the problems.

All this while why did you not consider remarrying?

My husband left me at 55. Today, I am 70 by the grace of God. The interest of remarrying just died in me and I asked God to keep it there. I don’t want to resurrect it. Since my husband left, I have never looked at a man and lust after him. All I need to do is the work that god has handed over to us. Not that there are no suitors but I don’t give in. I don’t give them time to come to that area. Men are there saying you look beautiful, you look great, you look charming. I would say thank you very much. It is the Holy Spirit that rejuvenates me and if you believe in God that rejuvenates me, he will also rejuvenate you. So I don’t give them that room to get close to there.

How would you react to this belief of men that women are not expected to mount the pulpit?

It is the religion and tradition that relegated the woman to the corner and the women embrace it. But the mind of God is that men and women work together. Before God, there is no difference. But functionally we have differences. There is no female or male before God. Before him, we are equal. If a man can fulfill the thing embedded in him from the foundation, why should a woman not fulfill that as well. I believe that God has called a man and God has called a woman. It is only tradition that has kept the woman relegated.


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