“Most women don’t want men to have lives outside homes, give men space” - Daniel Ademinokan

Daniel Ademinokan opened up on how he fell in love with Nollywood actress, Stella Damasus.

Award winning film maker and producer Daniel spoke during the star actress’ program on i2Radio in the United State of America called ‘Undiluted with Stella Damasus’. 

The program which airs every Sunday brings to the forefront relationship advice and how to counter every relationship challenges. The actress on this particular episode had her lover, Daniel Ademinokan as the guest. The actor cum producer spoke on cheating, marriage and sex. 

Here are excerpts of their on-air dialogue: 

Stella: Are men as emotional as women?

Daniel: I believe that men are as emotional as women but they are trained to be Macho about it. Men have more control over their emotions than women. Men just don’t react to it the way women do. Women tend to be dramatic.

Stella: Do men like public display of affection?

Daniel: A man who is dating a woman and is proud of her like’s public display of affection (PDA). He wants people to know this is mine without appearing to be trying so hard, but not to the point where you make other people uncomfortable. It is not everyone your woman is talking to that she has something with. Some women can be so possessive that they become nags. 

Stella: Does the woman have the right to feel the same way? 

Daniel: Yes, everyone in that relationship has a right to feel that way. You don’t have to be rude to other people for people to see. You shouldn’t be ashamed to hold your spouse in public. Men likes public display of affection but not to the point where you make other people uncomfortable. It is not everyone your woman is talking to that she has something with. Some women can be so possessive that they become nags. 

Stella: Does the woman has the right to know her man’s password? 

I don’t think any man or woman should go snooping around their spouse phones. If there’s trust, why should you be snooping? Unless the person has given you a reason to. Sometimes there are innocent messages that people can interpret wrongly. People misinterpret stuff but there should be no issue of passwords. 

Stella: there’s this popular thing men always say (Daniel, you know me better than anyone else so you know these questions aren’t from me). Men always say they need space, how you know when to give him space? 

Daniel: Sometimes all these bottled up emotions have a way of erupting. A woman who knows her husband well can sense when he wants to talk. When a guy doesn’t want to discuss something with you at a point in time, don’t force it. When women want to talk, they really want to talk. You should know when he wants to speak. I always advice women, let the man have a life away from home.  

Stella: What do you mean by ‘’a life away from home’’?

Daniel: Most women don’t want their men to have lives outside their homes. A lot of women do that but you need to give your man a space to become a boy again. If you don’t let him have a life, he will bottle all those emotions and he will erupt someday. If all he does is spend time at home, he will break down and won’t want to listen. 

Stella: How come men go out to look for ‘wife material’ but when they go out there, they look for the sexy seductress? 

Daniel: A man who is looking for mother Theresa as a wife is probably a man who has plans from the start. If you want an all-in-one package, look for that. Marriage is like you having Direct TV, they give you different plans based on what you like. 

Stella: So do all men have to cheat because they know not all women have what they need? 

Daniel: Not all men plan to cheat. Based on your question, that is a man who has married a wife for the sole purpose. 

Stella: Whenever I talk about sex, it’s always about the married people. Do men like women to initiate sex regularly?

Daniel: A lot of men I’ve spoken to do like the idea of women initiating sex. When you are with your wife, you want to feel the love and know that she craves for you. Sex is a 2-way thing, the man gives, the women takes, the women gives, and the man takes. If a woman refuses to be adventurous and the guy becomes bored, he will look for it somewhere else. Men love sex. There is nothing wrong with women being adventurous.

Stella: Some men can’t phantom their thoughts of women being adventurous?

Daniel: Everything boils down to how the marriage started. I read something where they said couples should even schedule sex. It may sound disgusting but they said it’s better than a sexless life. Most of the best conversations happen after sex. Sex is one of the quickest ways to make your man happy. Some years ago someone said his wife shouldn’t give him oral sex and then use those lips to kiss his kids.

Stella: In few words, how do you think men want to be treated by women? 

Daniel: Every women should understand the man they are married to or dating is still a kid at heart. Most women fail to see that no man wants a woman to come and be the husband in the house. Most men play by the women’s rules and then when marriage comes, it changes to their rules. When you are coming into it, lay your cards on the table, save 10% for yourself and when you are in it, give 100%. There are rules that some men play by and once they get what they want, they are out. That’s why I can sit here with you today because I’ve been through it.  

Stella: for a married woman or man, I do not subscribe to having a best friend of the opposite sex. What’s your take on this? 

Daniel: before I got married I had many female friends. One of them I fell in love with because we were just so fond of ourselves but she didn’t feel the same way for me. From that experience I was smart enough to know that it may not be safe and sane to discuss issues that will stir up emotions. Usually best friends don’t set boundaries. I personally as a guy would not advise to have a best friend that is a female or vice versa. Stay safe, the bible says flee from all appearance of evil.

Stella: Is it possible that a man can be married and his wife is not his best friend?

Daniel: if your wife is not your best friend as a man, you have a problem. Try the best you can to make your wife your best friend. If you feel your wife doesn’t understand you, look for a guy, not a female, because emotions may stir up. I’m not saying you can’t have a female friend but there should be boundaries. Your character is like smoke, somehow it will find its way out. When there are issues don’t wait for someone else to console your spouse. I will not condone my wife having a male as her best friend and I myself will not have a female best friend.

The producer who was formerly married to Nollywood actress Doris Simon recently revealed why he is crazy about stella