Charly Boy
Aka area father writes……………………………….
Women used to
be seen, not heard, but now, women are the bread winners in most homes. They
have taken over the role of men they have become the Boss Madam, most of them,
by circumstance.
They don't make men like
they used to anymore; and women have become something else.
Long time ago, men used to
be very proud of being the bread winners, the sole providers in the home but
nowadays, many don't mind being a house husband.
Question: How and why do
some women end up with useless baby daddies and husbands who, short of owning a
penis, can't lay ownership to any responsibility, can't take care nor take
charge?
Why do some women stay in a
relationship that ain't going anywhere, worse off, in an abusive,
psychologically draining, energy sapping relationship, where the man puts up
his feet while the woman slaves to keep the home?
Haba! Is it by force to
stay in a relationship because the world must see you as married, or you are
only tolerating your baby daddy so he can have a rethink and marry you?
The new cool for women is
single parenting, especially for those who have been unlucky in finding
reasonable men.
Ladies, please cut
yourselves some slack, you can't find that much needed and desired happiness if
you're in a relationship that is so filled with stress and despair, coupled
with the child or children's responsibility you have to think of.
Life is about the good and
the bad, it's true we all know that single parenting has its ups and downs but
hey, joint parenting does too.
No matter your
circumstances or reasons, once you are a single parent, you should be prepared
for the good and bad and handle it accordingly. For me I want to look at the
positives rather than the negatives.
If you're thrust with
single parenting, first thing to get crystal clear is this is where you are
now, and because you love the child/children enough to ensure they turn out
well in life not lacking basic amenities, you must roll up your sleeves and get
kicking.
You cannot afford to be
lazy, don't discriminate on the kind of job you can or cannot do because of an
illusionary class. As long as the job is not prostitution, drug peddling and
trafficking in any of the vices, you must give your best at what work you find
to do to earn a living. There is still dignity in labour; at least we have
Olajumoke's story to refer to in very recent times.
Rather than pity yourself
or stay on the spot whining and wailing, or going to night vigil every-day, wear
a good dose of confidence and give this your best shot.
After-all, you're not the
first single parent and certainly won't be the last.
We have stories of single
parents whose children turned out very beautifully, thereby becoming reference
points for good. I'm sure you know that children raised by single parents only
turn out poorly and terribly because those parents didn't give their best or
their best wasn't good enough.
As a single parent, you
must find a responsible father figure to model for and mentor your child. This
does not necessarily have to be your boyfriend, it can be an uncle, a friend,
someone that the child can look up to and take correction from when he/she goes
off course.
A mistake I have seen with
single parents is that they turn their children to the husband they do not
have, they do not discipline them when they go wrong, everything the child does
is okay whether good or not, they don't put their foot down on what they know
is right for the child to do. They live and raise the kids in denial and self-pity.
This is when single parenting goes all wrong.
Apart from this, nothing
stops a single parent's child from being outstanding and even going ahead to outshine
regular kids.
So, the ball is in your
court, whether you will choose to see your cup half empty or half full but I am
strongly against a lady pretending to be under a man when in the real sense,
though her man is not physically demised but she's the ONLY parent in her home.
Who you dey deceive?
I don talk my own sha, nah
you know.
Eni ba le ti ko gbo
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