Musician,
Charles Oputa aka Charlie Boy, is recounting how he felt when his last
daughter, Dewy, came out to him as a lesbian.
In a post shared on his Facebook page this morning, Charlie Boy said when she initially came out to him, he was confused and asked himself some questions as to what he might have
done wrong to have a gay child. The singer and activist says that he looks back now and is grateful for the experience of having a lesbian child.His post
reads
''For Parents
Only.
About 4yrs
ago, my last Princess of the house called me from America, from her tone I was
bracing up for whatever she was about to tell me especially when she kept
saying to me, “daddy promise me you won’t get mad at me, or give up on me”
I am close
with my children and I love dem to bits. They are my friend. But I wasn’t
really ready for the “breaking news” my Princess Dewy had for me.
When my child
told me she is gay, a lesbian, I experienced a range of emotions, during dat
phone conversation.
So many things went through my mind, one of them included self-blame ("Did I do something wrong?") ("The child I thought I knew and loved no longer exists."), worry ("Will my child be discriminated against?) religious confusion ("Is my child damned to spend eternity in hell?"), and stigma ("What will people think of my child? Of me?").
However, I
kept pinching myself to calm down because I didn’t want my baby to shy away
from me or for us to have a strained relationship. I loved my baby far too
much.
I first took
a deep breath. And all I could say was, “are you sure?”
I was hoping
it was a prank but it was happening in real time.
Even though I
was unusually calm through that conversation, my mind was wondering in all
direction.
Months before
this incident, I was lending my voice in support of LGTB rights in Nigeria.
Is life
playing tricks on me. Now my daughter is gay, why do I feel disappointed? Am I
a hypocrite? How do I handle this bomb shell?
I have faced
many challenges in my life and won, I was determined to win this too. All I
want is my Princesses Love, happiness and Success in her life anything else is
secondary. I told myself that I will get through this, and many months later I
did.
As a matter
of fact, I now look back and find that I am grateful for the experience of
having a gay or lesbian child.
Nothing can
come between me and any of my beautiful children. It is stupid to even think
that having a gay child means that parents have failed. That’s some pedestrian
thinking.
Me, I love my
gay daughter oooo because she has put some colors into my life too.
Acceptance of
the truth is like surgery. It hurts but cures. Lie is like a pain killer. It
gives instant relief but it’s side effects can last forever.
I am proud
when I say,
God has
brought peace to my confusion, joy to my sadness and hope to my heart.
I love you
Dewy''
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