The Great Divide Between Rappers and their Privileged Kids

 According to EM, Black fatherhood has been a topic of fascination and consternation in American culture for quite some time.

Just as social scientists and statisticians consistently mull over Black women’s marriage rates, and self-appointed relationship experts offer Black women advice on how to find and keep a "good Black man," a rotating cast of players has made it their business to weigh in on the State of Black Fatherhood. (With Father’s Day just two months away, brace yourself for more.)
Whether it’s President Obama preaching about the problem of Black absentee dads, Bill Cosby admonishing the Black community to fight teen fatherhood rates, or sociologists like Roberta L. Coles and Charles Green challenging the Black deadbeat dad caricature with their book “The Myth of the Missing Black Father” the conversation is usually the same. Depending on which side of the divide you’re on, AWOL and inadequate Black fathers are—or aren’t—the reason Black people are poor, incarcerated, obese, etcetera, at higher rates than most other racial and ethnic groups in the country.
The season two premiere of “Iyanla: Fix My Life” introduced a new strand to the ongoing conversation. Featuring the forceful life coach trying to heal the relationship between rapper Earl “DMX” Simmons and his eldest son Xavier, it was apparent the ‘90s hip-hop star and his son were battling more than the specific issues that had led them to seek Vanzant’s on-camera therapy.  They were also contending with the unique conundrum of the rapper-son/daughter relationship.    
From Jay-Z to Lil Wayne to 50 Cent, many of the most successful rappers grew up fatherless, in poverty, selling/doing drugs, etcetera—yet the money and fame they earned by skillfully recounting tales of their hard-knock youth have afforded their children a gilded life of nannies, private schools, music lessons, trips abroad, disposable income and more. As DMX beat his chest, tearfully reminding his son he “didn’t know not one nigga with a father” in his youth, Xavier sat stoic and hurting, unable to relate.
Psychologist Dr. Richard Orbe-Austin says the disconnect between a parent who came out of a tough background and their child can trigger a unique set of problems. “In the worst case scenarios, extreme poverty can create issues of emotional deprivation, neglect, abuse due to lack of resources and the stress that poverty creates.” Orbe-Austin continues, “Parents who experienced trauma, depression, addiction, or abusive behavior during childhood, may have struggled with their own mental health concerns that were difficult to address due to lack of resources.  Thus, once they become parents they may bring some unhealthy coping strategies into their relationships with their own children.”