Ruby Igwe Pays Tribute To Late Mum

Good evening everyone, my name is Ruby Igwe.

We are all here this evening grieving Amaka Igwe, who we loved, and were inspired, influenced, or maybe intimidated by. I also know that there are many here who she, by God’s grace; mothered, trained, and raised.
I’m sure you will agree that our mother had a unique spirit.

Her priorities may have seemed infuriatingly odd because they were so, so different. The steps to success society has defined for us were of little to no consequence to her. However, she left this Earth as one of the most successful people I have ever known.

She was a professional, and she touched lives, yet she remained humble, and discreet. She never considered herself to be a know it all. However, she never sold herself short. What she knew, she knew, and what she didn’t know, she gave credit to those who knew.

Her contributions to the Creative Industries were in lieu of a much bigger picture. She received a passion and talent from God, and she utilized it, became an expert, and did not hesitate to share her expertise. How she spread her wealth of knowledge is baffling.

People have been calling me saying, ‘Your mother taught me everything I know.‘ In 51 years? How Mummy, did you teach so many people everything they know? Yet she would always say to her students, ‘I will teach you everything I know, so you can add it to what you know and be better than me.‘ I’m thinking, how?

When you didn’t compromise on your children, or your marriage, or your family; how did you manage to teach so many people everything they know, workwise, and otherwise? And it can’t be that they don’t know a lot, as they are all so successful! How then, did you manage it all?

I don’t know the specifics fully. But I do know, that in this life, we will be fine. It is still well, even now, even in this loss, this great, great loss. We will all be phoenixes in that in this death, in this separation from Amaka Igwe on this Earth, we will rise. We will learn.

We will be inspired and influenced. Because she has done, we will do. Tonight, we remember to never forget that it is possible to make a mark, while making memories. It is possible to give our all in all we do.

And it is possible to identify with God and for it to be a great strength, and not a hindrance.

I will end with a letter I wrote to my mum.

Thanks Uncle Chris.

Hey Mummy,

I miss you. So much. More than I can ever fully express in words. I must tell you though that I am mourning your absence. Not your present location. Oh that, I am so proud of, joyful in, and grateful for. I am going to see you again by the special grace of God. My only sadness is that it won’t be very soon.

You were, and are, my mother. It’s more than that though. You were my best friend, my partner in crime. You don’t find that kind of love just anywhere. You were my teacher, and my confidant. You were also my support when I needed to be yelled at, or reminded of who I am, or simply babied. We were the girls’ squad that marshalled Dad, David and Dani.

Now I’m a one-man team.

What do I miss exactly? You being around, my house is empty, my phone is neglected, someone yelling, Ruboo! or Esita, or Abosede, orDavid, or Puttiman, or Juli, or Aachaki! Or yelling just because you haven’t seen us in a while. I miss our talks, the ones on the white chairs, on the red chairs, on the stairs… I miss bringing you your checkbook. I miss bringing you a snack. I miss your hugs. I miss you Mum. I’m going to live with it, though. I don’t know how I’ve done it this one-month and some days, so it fits that I have no idea how I’m going to go the rest of my life without you.

But there is a God. So I am not afraid. It is still well. Thank you for not treating me differently from your students, thank you for throwing me in at the deep end early, and teaching me to be responsible, and resilient, and reliable. I think you are an astonishing woman who has broken barriers, set standards and has established a can-do attitude for many.

You have inspired me to continue to stand for integrity and the right morals, and to keep pushing and keep standing in the face of the ever-evolving strategies of adversity. I look up to you as a role model, and I know that your efforts for my, your and our country will not be in vain. Thank you for being one of the scarce but incredibly intense light that this country is privileged to have. Thank you for always wanting to be the best you could be. Thank you for being a woman of unpretentiousness and open frankness.

I appreciate you for being the best possible mother for me.

This is my unadulterated nineteen-year-old Nigerian girl honour to you, and in conclusion I just want to let you know that because you could, I can, and because you have done, I will do.

I miss you. More than I can ever put in words.

But know that I am coming.

Yours truthfully,

Ruby Igwe.

The three-term lawyer, and barrister to be.