Jennifer Lopez Opens Up On Crashed Seven Year Old Marriage

Lopez has candidly detailed her split with Marc Anthony in her new book True Love.  The couple who wed in June 2004 had just celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary when they announced their split.

In excerpts from the book as detailed by People Magazine, the 45 year old writes..

'Anybody looking from the outside in would have thought my life was great. I had a husband and two beautiful children. I was on American Idol and my new single On The Floor had gone to number one all over the world. What people didn't know was that life really wasn't that good. My relationship was falling apart and I was terrified.' 

She revealed she made the decision to end the marriage after suffering a panic attack while preparing for a photo-shoot.

'As I sat there getting made up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe... I became consumed with anxiety,' she writes in the tome as detailed by a People excerpt.  What was happening to me? I leaped from my chair and said to my dear manager Benny Medina, "Benny, something is happening! I feel like I'm going crazy." My mom was there and she rushed to my side too.

'It was one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: "I don't think I can be with Marc anymore." Then I burst into tears.

'It was out, Jennifer recalls. 'The thing I feared more than anything in the world. I collapsed into their arms and began to sob.'

She also admitted she has suffered abuse in past relationships

I've never gotten a black eye or busted lip but I've been in relationships where I have been abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally,' she reveals. 'I know what it feels like for your soul to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating you.

'It took me years to figure out that, in that kind of relationship the intensity and the conflict are really coming from two people.

'Because every day you don't walk out that door, every day you accept things in a partner and in yourself, is a day that you're saying it's okay.'

People Magazine