“Breaking up with my boyfriend led to depression” – Halima Abubakar

Halima Abubakar the controversial actress in a new interview with Encomium magazine spoke about her career and issues bothering on her last failed relationship. The Kano-born Bayero University graduate also spoke extensively on some personal issues. Read excerpts below:

We could recall you said you’re depressed some-time ago…

(Cuts in) Yes, I was depressed for about seven months. Yes, a bit of it is in the movie but I didn’t go into details about my other part. You’re going to read that in my book.

When is the book coming out?

It will come out by the special grace of God, on my birthday if I can.

What’s the title of the book?

Let’s keep that under wraps for now.

You said you’re depressed for about seven months, how would you describe the experience?

It’s a very huge experience, and coming out of it wasn’t that easy. A lot of people don’t really understand what being depressed is. Some may say they are sad, they are not but depressed. But what happens is that they don’t know they’re depressed, they’re just sad. Every day they ask such people, they will reply, I just dey jare. Each day they’re thinking about so many things – they think about money, love, husband, kids and all that, and all these things and more cause depression which many Nigerians don’t know because we’re strong.

We think we’re just sad when we’re in that situation. Initially, I thought I was just low, until I started having migraine. I couldn’t sleep. At a point, I couldn’t even sleep for two weeks. You wouldn’t believe it, I was thinking I had migraine, the doctor said I had typhoid. So, we’re treating typhoid and before I knew it, I was hospitalized. I was in the hospital for a week, treating typhoid. Later, I thought I was okay, I went to Obasanjo son’s wedding in Abeokuta, Ogun State. The guy married my friend. So, we all went for the wedding. While I was there, I was extremely happy, dancing and all that but at the end of the wedding, I started feeling funny. That night against the next day, I couldn’t really figure out what happened. I just realized I needed to go back to the hospital. So, the very next day, I had to leave Abeokuta straight to the hospital. And my doctor said my migraine was back. And we started talking. He was asking me questions and when he was going personal, I told him I didn’t want to talk on anything like that. But he told me I had to so that he could see if what was wrong with me was personal. I was still on medication for a while, but thank God I have overcome that. And Insha Allah, it won’t come back.

What actually was the cause of your depression?

I broke up with my boyfriend. This happened to be the first time I will be talking about that. I had decided that people will be reading about it in my book but I will just tell you a little about it. I broke up with my boyfriend and I didn’t handle it well. Not me alone, we both didn’t handle the situation well. But you know I am a woman, we all react differently. To some people, they can just take a drink and sleep off. And that’s the end. They don’t have anything to think about. But I just realized I loved him deeply. I didn’t think I was that romantic. I thought it was the Jango, Rainbow or Odechi (laughs) thing. So, falling in love was kind of something new to me. Then having problem upon problem about it until it ended up in a major breakdown.

When exactly did the hiccups start in the relationship and when did it finally pack up?

It happened first in December 2013, and we came back in 2014. And we broke up again which led to the whole thing. He didn’t even know, I am sure he couldn’t even believe I was in love with him to that extent. That’s why. So, I advise people to show love to who they claim to love. And for any guy that’s in love with a woman, he should show her that love, pay her all the attention and make her know you love her. You don’t allow her to doubt your love.

How have you been coping since then?

It has not been easy. I was under medication for a while. Of course, I have my family with me each of them came after the other to keep me company. I didn’t accept any role that period because I shot like two or three roles that time but I didn’t feel like I used to. Then, I shot Juju wood in Enugu, directed by Tchidi Chikere. It was an amazing experience to work with him. But I started having migraine again from that location. It wasn’t a good experience at all. I also went on location in Asaba, Delta State. I later had to go back to Lagos. I think I did about four movies within seven months because I needed to work but it wasn’t easy. But now, it’s like nothing has happened to me. So, I am going to say I am very grateful to God, I am in a better and wonderful place. I am beyond happy.

That means you have put the whole thing behind you?

Yes, of course. I have to grow. Such a thing makes you strong.

What was the major reason for the break-up?

I can’t give you any detail about that but you media guys contributed to that (laughs).

Does it mean between you and your guy, there wasn’t anything like mutual trust?

Yes, that’s just it.

But we learnt you were not giving him adequate attention he demanded was the reason he decided to call it quits with you?

Who told you about the break-up?

But didn’t we call you when we learnt about it?

But then, not every rumour you can believe. People talk and lie a lot. And I wonder who believes those people. People like to talk and people like to listen. But then, you need to draw a line as to which one is a lie and which one is the truth. People should learn to tell the truth. If people tell me about somebody, I don’t know why the person is telling me. So, I will be very cautious of the person. And probably, I will cut off from the person because at the end of the day, what you are trying to do is to make me bitter and to make one look at another in a bad way. And I don’t want such a life style because I am in the entertainment business where there are too many rumours, too many gossips, envy, jealousy and underground beefing. You’re praying for them to succeed while they are trying to bring you down. Life is so funny, and looking back now, I feel so stupid crying on the shoulders of the wrong people because I had one or two friends in Nollywood that were around me when I was sick. And I am like Oh! My boyfriend and all that, crying. And they left and went to discuss the situation in another way. So, things like this and more made me wary of discussing anything with anybody. If I feel headache, I don’t need to tell anybody about it. I will just get a medication to take without anybody knowing.

How do you cope without any man in your life now?

I am coping well.

Or you have another man now rocking your world?

I don’t.

Are there no passes being thrown at you by men?

Am I not a beautiful girl? (laughs). I am a beautiful, young and intelligent woman doing very well. I am very hard working which I believe everybody knows. But I don’t go up and down for men to chase me. So, people bothering about who I am dating or when I am going to get married should just exercise patience. It’s strictly uncalled for. If I give them invitation cards and aso ebi to come dance, eat my rice and go, then, the next tomorrow they hear that the wedding is over, won’t they feel bad for coming to spend that time and amount of money on the wedding? So, nobody should be asking me anything about that again. They should be happy I am alive.

But are you searching now?

I am not going to answer that.

Halima Abubakar has starred in several movies and clinched several awards like City people’s Best actress 2011,The Afro Hollywood award in London as best supporting actress, Actors Guild Icons Award, Global leadership award, and a nomination from Best of Nollywood awards, Best actress HITV Seasoned award, and recently bagged the best actress award at The Eminent award powered by News Of The People, coupled with being a Kogi state youth Ambassador, Halima today has become a force to reckon with becoming a role model to youngsters who desire to pursue her passion.